


Drown

by WhatHappenedToMyHappyEnding



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3922105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatHappenedToMyHappyEnding/pseuds/WhatHappenedToMyHappyEnding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is based on the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon.  One-Shot. TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drown

**Author's Note:**

> Hello... I know I haven't updated in the past two weeks, but I hope this helps. I couldn't think of anything to write for OWASLB the first week and I had a lock-in for school last Friday. I'll try to update soon. Prepare for feels...
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: THIS IS BASED UPON SUICIDE SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE TO READ THAT STUFF OR ARE EASILY TRIGGERED DO NOT READ!
> 
> -LK

I sink deeper and deeper into the dark abyss that I have created for myself. Who will fix me now? What doesn't destroy you leaves you broken instead. The weight of the world is getting harder to hold up. As I stand on the edge I can't help but think about all those I have wronged and all those I have loved. Bianca. Percy. Will. They all cared for me and ended up getting hurt. I am dangerous. I bring death with even the lightest touch. I can't help it and that is why I need to leave for good. It is simply pest control. Who would dive in when I'm down?

I've got a hole in my soul growing deeper, and deeper. I cried out and listened as the sound echoed over the lake. I can't take one more moment of this silence. I am so alone. I close my eyes and hold my breath. I feel tears spill from under my closed eyelids. Why can't Bianca be here? She knows that I can't do this on my own. Someone, please save me from myself.

What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead. Dead. Maybe that would be better for everyone. I'm not okay and it's not alright. I can't take anymore of the lies and empty promises. Enough is enough. I open my eyes and look out upon the shimmering green jewel in front of me. I marvel at how beautiful the water can be, even when it holds dark secrets. I smile for the first time in years. Maybe I will finally find peace.

The immense cold surges through my body like a bolt of lightning. I feel the water seeping into my bones. I choke on water as it replaces the oxygen. I never knew dying would feel so freeing. I don't bother praying for Asylum. I'm no hero. I'm just a coward. I watch my life flash before my eyes. I see my mother being struck down, Bianca and I leaving for the Lotus Casino. I catch a glimpse of bright vibrant green. At first the green is in the shape of a little girl's hat and then it morphs, twisting and turning into a pair of the most stunning eyes the world has ever known. They are the eyes I have grown to love and hate all at the same time.

The love and hate make my dying heart burn even more. All the emotions I have ever felt towards anyone and everyone fill my heart to the breaking point. I whisper "I'm sorry"s to the ones who I have shown anger towards. That was my cover up for the weakness I can no longer deny. Be angry at everyone until they leave you alone so they don't see how much of a coward I am and have to watch them laugh at my pathetic attempts at heroism. Face it I was never wanted there anyway.

I remember the snide looks, the fear and hate that filled the eyes that pierced their way through my skin. The eyes that were trying to find out all of my secrets hated me the more they uncovered. I don't blame them. I deserved their hatred. No one should be able to control who lives or dies the way my father can. No one should be able to bring back who they wanted to, even if it was only for a few moments. I was dangerous and should be locked away. I could do terrible things to the living and the dead with just a flick of my wrist. I'm too powerful. I'm a sick animal that needs to be put out of its misery. That is what I am doing, putting myself and everyone around me out of their misery. The will forget me easily. The unbalance between life and death will right itself and everything will be better. I'm a parasite that needs to be removed before I cause any more damage.

Part of me wishes there was someone out there to help me, someone, to come and make me fight. All I ever wanted was to be normal and to be loved. I never asked to be the freak that I am. I'm sorry. I just want someone to help me, to love me, to care enough to not let me drown. Don't let me drown.


End file.
